Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Bartender, pour me a double.

It’s a beautiful day in Portland. The newscasters even sent out a warning in the weather report this morning, “these warm temperatures may last through the week, stay tuned for information on the warm front approaching Portland.” Haha. We need to be warned if the weather might just be nice for any extended amount of time. I am LOVING it. I hate to say it, but my mood is very dependent upon the weather, which probably means I should move somewhere warm and sunny for the winter. My parents are making the “snowbird” move and flying south for the winter. They’re onto something…


So I am currently sitting in a sunny window of my favorite coffee shop/study spot, Sydney’s and the Montessori kids are playing and screaming on the playground outside, the trains are whistling as they go by, and I’m looking up at the beautiful arches of the Fremont bridge. AND I have an iced coffee that never tasted so good and I’m catching up on letter writing, which is just refreshing. AND it’s a good hair and wardrobe day. Sigh. Present life is good.


However, future life is giving me mini heart attacks every time I think about it. I’m graduating in four months. And then…I will officially enter the "real world". That’s when real life begins, when you are no longer a student and get a real job, right? OR is it when you leave the single life and get married (cue bells and flowers and bubbles!)? Those both seem to be popular beliefs these days… Can I just boycott the whole real life thing? Or would that mean that I stay single and jobless forever? Because that’s not so appealing, either. Eeesh. Well, single/marriedness aside…I will need to find a job in four months and this current economy is KILLING my hopes. The unemployment rate in Portland is TERRIBLE. It’s one or two percent higher than other places in the country. It doesn’t help that the only Masters of Social Work program in Oregon is in Portland, and come June another couple hundred social workers will be looking for work, probably IN Portland. There’s an over-abundance of social workers in this city, which is awesome because people are being helped and served, but is there room for me? I dunno…


My parents have passed on some info about social work jobs in Seattle. I think this is less of a ploy to have me move back to Seattle near home and family but more of a ploy to get me employed, anywhere. It stresses me out to think about where I may be in four months. I hate NOT knowing. This whole thing, this whole time, liminal space if you will. I’m not a fan. I don’t like preparing for a change that may or may not happen. I’m not sure where to invest myself. Do I continue building community in Portland when I may not even find a job here? Should I work on building community in Seattle? Should I move to somewhere in the middle of nowhere, where SURELY they need social workers? Scranton? Malawi? Haines?

Bartender, pour me double.

Here’s to the unknown…

2 comments:

rachel rianne said...

ughhh, i'm sorry that you have to deal with this real life stuff. i wish you could stay in portland. the whole "should i even try the community thing if i'm not staying?" deal is awful, and it's good that portland has a lot of social workers, because there are so many people who care about other people, but what's a qualified, quality girl like yourself supposed to do?

i say you go back to afrika. but that's just my first impulse. keep your home in portland, go east for a while, then secure a job somehow after that. it'll fall into place. haha just don't get married. i'd pick more school over that whole marriage thing... at least for now.

if anything, it sounds like you're having an amazing day and i'm totally jealous.

Ian said...

Dear Shannon, well being employed is nice, but beyond that I don't think anyone needs to worry too much about entering any kind of 'real world' at a certain point in life - I think that's more of a state of mind that some people choose to adapt and then scare younger people with. Economic crisis notwithstanding, I'd say definitely to go overseas now with not much else tying you down. Don't forget about Peru!! Good luck with the mangoes and cantaloupe.
Ian Barclay