Tuesday, March 31, 2009
In our bereavement dept meeting time, we talked about some client houses we have been to for home visits and how they have the tendency toward messiness or clutter. At the far end of the cleanliness spectrum, there are “path houses” with so much clutter piled up that there is literally just a small path in which one can navigate through the house. It’s a horribly claustrophobic place to find oneself. In my head, the idea crossed my mind that I could end up one day with a “path house” and I was immediately horrified, and I made a face to show it. I don’t want to be “path house lady” which is undoubtedly up there with “crazy cat lady” which means I definitely need to get my act together.
I’ve already started sifting through things to get rid of. I’m freeing up space. Not space to fill with more things, but space for breathing and living. The little bit I have done already feels nice. Though not outwardly noticeable, I have recycled many old school papers and unnecessary lecture notes and other random things from under my bed. Just knowing these things are no longer taking up space makes me feel lighter. I don’t want to be burdened by things I keep and I don’t want to put so much worth in them either; after all, they are just things and I can’t take any of them with me when I leave this place. I welcome this feeling of lightness. No more carrying around excess baggage of the material or emotional variety (but that’s a whole other can of worms).
Monday, March 30, 2009
grace and renewal make themselves real in this world. all of creation
is groaning for its redemption, and we join in that chorus. we are
surrounded on all sides by the forest of our failures, our dirty feet
fighting the thorny underbrush. or we wander the used-up cities of
cement dreams and strip-mall seductions. this is where we live. but to
us who are weary and broken, the god of redemption gives the plains,
and a view of the land we have yet to claim, yet to sow, yet to reap.
here there is space, and a chance, to make all things new...the land
of redemption, where signs of promise abound, where the reptiles
witness, where the rocks cry out, and where hope stretches as far as
the lazy eye can see. this is where we, with trembling hands, toil and
subdue. and where the rain of grace pounds the dirt until life breaks
through the mud and reaches for the sun..."-Caedmon's Call
However, acquaintanceship is enough for me. I don’t have the intensity and endurance to live in a city like
Though, I wish I could have taken
Here are a few pictures I snapped along the way with my non artsy zoom lens camera, but alas, they will have to suffice.
Sara always falls asleep on the subway, haha!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
My mind needs a break from the intellectual life. All I have been doing these past couple days is attempting to pull out pages and pages of concise yet eloquent words of research and policy surrounding issues in child welfare. I am not used to intense intellectual thought for hours and hours and no break. If you were to walk past me any of these last days at Sydney’s, my coffee shop of choice, you would see an intense stare into my laptop screen, complete with furrowed brow and feet tapping below to the soundtrack my dear Pandora unrolls for me as I type, type, type away…
I’ve been thinking about
I’m grateful to have a place that brings my heart so much joy and so many memories worth treasuring. Instead of feeling torn between the northwest and a home in
I know in my heart that someday I will again feel that freshness of arriving on African soil. Someday…
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
And to be with such good company made it that much better. The weekend was full of good conversation, good food, good music, hiking sand dunes, walking on beaches, playing with the cutest puppy, naps, mini-road trips and just all around goodness.
I feel I have a community growing in
I can be present now, even when everything in me is just jumping towards thoughts of the future and worries etc. Life is about the here and now, the not knowing.
"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."
Especially when it looks like this…
I think I will forever and always live near the water. I need oceans, rivers, sounds, and lakes.
It will be like an investment in mental health.
one of my favorites to listen to on repeat by joe purdy.
though today, i can't stop listening to "he said she said" by joe purdy but I couldn't find a copy of it to share. so check it out on itunes! i'm a lyric girl...so here are the lyrics.
Where are you going my one true love?
you understand me like no one does
so who's gonna save me now?
yeah, who's gonna save me now?
Going away love can't you see
I can't take you
and you can't change me
so I'm going to save you now
yes, I'm going to save you now
Well I got bruises on my feet he says
and I got cuts on my hands
so who's gonna help me stand?
Yeah, who's gonna help me stand?
Well I got wounds that won't heal she says
just as deep and just as long
so I'm going to make you strong
yes, I'm going to make you strong
well I can't sleep at night he says
when those lights go out
well who's gonna show me how?
yeah, who's gonna hold me now?
I have dreams of you she said
I see you hiding your face
So I'm going to make you brave
Yes, I'm going to make you brave
I'm going to save you now
I'm going to save you now
Yes, I'm going to save you now
I'm going to save me now
Save me now
(note: i don't believe any person can "save" another, but other parts of the song resonate with me and the melody is just so soothing and pretty)
Monday, March 2, 2009
it's genius. i would love it if someone said this to me every time i sneeze. especially if you have allergies or an awful cold, and just feel gross and probably look gross, having someone say, "your soooo good looking!" just might be the cure.