Monday, October 19, 2009

big city perspective

It's October and beautiful in Portland. The leaves are changing. The sun is shining and the rains haven't really arrived. As beautiful as the weather is, which is usually enough to keep me or any other Northwesterner content and smiling, I can't deny that my heart feels heavy. When my heart feels heavy I always have to get outside. Heavy thoughts need air to breathe. I just went for a bike ride this afternoon out to St. Johns, mostly because the roads are flat with the exception of one big hill under the bridge (which i made it up-score!). Anyhoo, the ride goes right along the most amazing bluff that overlooks the city and river.

Right now I'm sitting by the guard rail with cars whizzing by behind me (not so relaxing, but the view, it's unbelievable). Mt. Hood is to my left enveloped in clouds at the base, but standing tall atop them. Directly in front of me is the Fremont Bridge in all its glory as it leads into the heart of the city. It's getting to be that perfect time of day. Everything is beginning to take on that heavenly golden hue. From here, with this view of the city, I feel lighter. I can see everything. I have that big picture perspective. And with everything going on right now that hurts to think about, I'm reminded that there is a larger story here. If I could zoom out and look around at past and future I would probably breathe a giant sigh of relief in the knowledge that everything fits into the story in its own perfect way and I would probably say, "Oh, of course that's how things unfolded. I get it now."

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