Remembering...Brian

All it took was a glance to the date on my computer screen.

Seven years ago today, you were still a teen

Early morning July 3^rd, the dawn was breaking

And your own life you were taking.

I know you had your reasons

I would have told you that life is worth living

And that we all have our seasons

I hope at the very least in that last moment

You knew you were loved

By a great and loving God above.

This day comes around every year,

And the strength of your character becomes that much more clear.

Boy did you carry that sense of life

That passion inside that flowed from your hands

onto paper, walls and canvas

you believed that love could change the world

Can this?

Poetic words spoken from your lips

Into our ears, hearts and histories

“Live to love” you said,

“Create love and be free”

It took losing you for so many to finally see.

It’s undeniable, the strength you carried

From your first breath until the day you were buried

In all your ways you breathed humility

And in the end I’m reminded of life’s fragility.

I wish you were here.

There are so many things I’d like to tell you.

And share perhaps over a beer

Your life has touched mine and others

Many mothers, friends, sisters and brothers

If there is anything to gain

I want you to know your life was not lived in vain.

One last and little secret I can’t forget.

Remember those prank calls you used to get?

Your favorite songs

played to you by a random somebody

All those years ago,

yeah, that was me.

Much love, friend.

Brian Betz (1983-2002)

Oh heavenly day...

I’m thinking about Malawi today as I so often do…one of my interns in Malawi had the lyrics “oh heavenly day” written as her status on facebook. This is my favorite song in the whole entire world. I feel like I say that about a lot of songs I love but it really is my favorite. If I had to listen to one song on repeat forever into eternity, it would be ‘heavenly day’. After I commented that ‘heavenly day’ is indeed the best.song.ever. She wrote back and reminded me that I would play it over and over in our kitchen in Chiwengo Village.

As I read those words, I was instantly taken back to that village, our little house, and our littler kitchen with the sun streaming through and Patty Griffin’s words echoing through our walls.

Tomorrow may rain with sorrow

Here's a little time we can borrow

Forget all our troubles in these moments so few

Oh we can right now the only thing that all that we really have to do

Is have ourselves a heavenly day…

Oh all the troubles gone away

Oh for awhile anyway

Heavenly day…

On any given afternoon, there would be several of us in the kitchen singing, dancing and preparing a dinner for ourselves and one of several short-term teams visiting Chiwengo. It was so familiar to be chopping, frying, stirring etc. in the kitchen and for several kids to come and visit with us in the kitchen or help us prepare or just make silly faces from outside the window. Or to hear kids in the next room playing cards, yelling Bodza (aka liar—a little take off of the game BS) or to see kids outside making tiny campfires for cooking over.

It’s those little moments that I miss. They are just little snapshots that make up an average day; they are so minute and so fleeting. Yet when you are so far from them, and take a moment to hold them up to the light, you can see the beauty of each piece.

And in doing so, my heart just aches for those little moments.