be here now

Sometimes you know you need to get away, and last week I really needed that breath of ocean air. To be away from the city, away from school, from work, away from my noisy neighbor…it was such a gift.

And to be with such good company made it that much better. The weekend was full of good conversation, good food, good music, hiking sand dunes, walking on beaches, playing with the cutest puppy, naps, mini-road trips and just all around goodness.

I feel I have a community growing in Portland, and I don’t think I could have said that before last weekend. I mean, to an extent, yes I have community. Maybe now I am just ready to invest in a community here. I’m still torn about whether to set my heart on Seattle or Portland or another city in terms of where a job may open up, but I’ve decided to just “be here now” as Ray LaMontagne sings.

I can be present now, even when everything in me is just jumping towards thoughts of the future and worries etc. Life is about the here and now, the not knowing.

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."
-Gilda Radner

I’m okay with the not knowing and with the here and now. That's what it's all about anyway.

Especially when it looks like this…

I think I will forever and always live near the water. I need oceans, rivers, sounds, and lakes.
It will be like an investment in mental health.

salt water and strong coffee

I love the ocean. I love all water. Just catching a glimpse of it sends me into bliss. I’m out at Cannon Beach on the Oregon coast visiting my college roommate, Sara and her family at their beach house and let me tell you, it’s blissful. This morning I woke up, poured myself a big cup of coffee after searching around for the biggest mug in the cabinet and walked onto the deck to just take it all in, greeting the day as the waves greet the sand. It was warm enough to stand in pjs and bare feet. I pondered beginnings and what it might be like if the coast happened to be the edge of the world, you know… if the world was flat. I thought about home and friends coming and going, and how all things can be made new. What a refresher; it’s like the ocean set me up for the day and happy living.

Mornings are lovely, even in all their grogginess. Everything is new and beginning to come alive. I love the slow waking up process (as brutal as it can be sometimes). I love working at a coffee shop where I witness the waking up process right in front of my eyes. It’s kind of like the neighborhood kitchen and I just so happened to be the first one up in the neighborhood and strolled down to the kitchen to put on a cup of coffee and throw some muffins in the oven. Each person wakes up and walks into the kitchen to touch base, talk about their plans, catch up real quick and get some coffee to start the day. Some are all cleaned up and revved to go while others come in sleepy-eyed and disheveled. It’s a fascinating time of day to people watch, just hang out in my “kitchen” and you’ll see what I mean.